she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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