4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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