I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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