i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My vagina is officially offended.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
