After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
