I smell stomach acid.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize