Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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