Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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