yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
