No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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