If that was your dad, he is hot
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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