Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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