you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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