Please, let me fuck your mom
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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