im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's never too late to be topless.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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