Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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