After last night, I could never be a politician.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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