I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
