I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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