Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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