Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
