I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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