Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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