yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
