Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When are your genitals available?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
