WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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