i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
