the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
