oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
