Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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