do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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