I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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