Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
