Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
