i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
