...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
