i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
