i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
