If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
did i just pee glitter
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
