You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
