we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
