after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
