That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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