Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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