i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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