Fuck appropriateness.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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