xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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