Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
