There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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