so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
