Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize