I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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