Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
