What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
