Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
