The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
