Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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