Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
