I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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