It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize