OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
