are you still at the devil's house?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
