dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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