problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
