I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Couch. On fire.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
